Porcleian Angel
by inomztietuseoe
Summary: Zim has found out about his secret mission being a bunch of bull. He has no responsibility keeping him alive... Until he feels that he is threatened my another. Rated for safety. It should be okay... but just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay people… GED is under serious revision… So, you shall be forced to live with this until further notice! I own (SPOILER CENSOR), but nothing else. All else belongs to Jhonen Vasquez. Read on!**

_I can't believe it! _I grumbled. _Lying! The whole time! _I didn't even bother with my disguise at this point. GIR chose to wear his dog-suit. We were taking a walk in the human city. It was his idea, of course, and I wasn't in the mood to hear him scream for hours on end. _Why would they lie for so long? If they wanted to get rid of me, why bother with the charade?_ I had nothing left, anywhere. I didn't have a place among irkens anymore. I fit in more on Earth than anywhere else I was legally allowed to be. _It seems like I'm stuck on this dirtball. _I didn't want to think how long. I'm sure we looked rather strange, me, an irken, sulking, and GIR, a green dog, skipping around at night. _What now? What am I supposed to do? I don't need to go to skool anymore. I don't really need to do anything anymore._ _I don't… can't do anything at all. Taking over the world won't do me any good. Nothing will do me any good. I have no responsibility, nothing keeping me here but the fact that nowhere else is any better. What's the point? _ My shoulders tightened suddenly as I felt a cold raindrop swish past my face.

"Rain! GIR, why?" I whimpered.

"Da clouds wet dem selves!" GIR cackled evilly. _That horrible robot!_

"Curse this filthy Earth rain, GIR!" I cried, I didn't feel the urge to bathe in paste any time recently. _Curse you, irony!_

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"Papa…" I shivered in the rain, pulling a blanket of newspaper tightly around myself. No one could hear my sobs in the alley. Hot tears burned in my eyes as they rolled down my face.

"Curse this filthy Earth rain, GIR!" _Who? _"Now we must find shelter until morning!" a frantic voice grew closer and closer. I froze, eyes wide open, at the sudden interruption in the steady pitter-patter of rainfall on the top of my sideways-garbage-can shelter. "Victory for Zim!" a shadow walked closer. "A box!" I watched as shadows of a toddler and a grade skool kid curled up in a fell cardboard box. _Maybe they need help!_

"Are you alright, sir?" I peeped meekly. My throat stung at the first thing I have spoken in a long time.

"Eh? What? Who is there?" _They sound so scared!_

"I…" _Here goes nothing._ "I a-a-am…" I sobbed loudly and my throat throbbed. "I-I don't kn-know wh-what m-my name i-i-is." I cried, much louder than intended. The larger of the two shadows stood up cautiously.

"Why are you not at home like the other filthy humans?"

"I-I don't know wh-where h-home is, sir." I felt another tear roll down my face.

"You are lost?" The voice asked. _No._

"I d-don't have a h-home to be l-lost from." I gripped my newspaper tighter around me and fidgeted a bit.

"Don't your parental… things… wonder where you are?" There was a long pause.

"I don't think t-they do." _I know they don't. They never have._

"Eh?" _He wasn't even listening to me!_

"What's your name?" I asked, completely out-of-the-blue. The shadow turned to face me.

"I am-!" he shouted, then sighed. "I am Zim."

"What's your last name?" I asked.

"Zim needs only one name." The rain started to die down. Zim didn't seem to notice. I didn't really care.

"What about the little guy's name?"

"Who?" Zim asked, more to himself than to me. "Oh! That's GIR, my normal dog." _A dog? How cute! _I stood up, wobbling slightly.

"Well, it's been very nice to meet both of you. It's not often I get to talk at all." _Only because I'm some kind of monster!_

"We can stay here until morning." Zim said.

"But, I thought you were leaving when the rain stopped? Besides, isn't it morning already?" I mused out loud.

"No." I felt my face grow warm.

"O-oh! I-I'm so sorry!"

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_Sorry? For wha-?_ The girl turned to face me. Her eyes were a dull pink, slightly darker in the centers. Sparse, stringy white hair draped sadly over her shoulders. She was very thin and almost pure white. She appeared to be wearing nothing but the soggy old newspaper she was clinging to. _She's shorter than me, and her eyes are surely that of an irken! I must find out why she is here!_

"Are you human?" I asked. The female smiled weakly.

"Nobody thinks I am." She hung her head. "They think that I'm some kind of… of…"

"Alien?" I offered. Her head snapped up and her eyes became round.

"Y-yes!" She took a step towards me. "That's exactly what they think! An alien!"

"Yes, yes, well… I know… I understand." I said nervously, without really thinking.

"You understand? You really mean it?" She ran up and attacked me. _I must restrain her! _"Thank you! Thank you so much, sir!" My PAK clipped her into a pair of handcuffs. "Sir?"

"I am no SIR! I am Zim!" As I yelled, I realized that I had handcuffed her while she had her bony arms around my neck. _Curses! Trickery! This must be punished!_ "Release me! Release me or suffer the wrath of Zim!" I wiggled my head out of her grip, shuttering when her cold hands brushed against my antennae.

"I am so sorry, sir, Zim!" the girl collapsed onto the ground, trying to hold her newspaper on, even while in the handcuffs. _I must do something! This is uncalled for!_

"You must be taken home!" I huffed. _I-Wait… What?_

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"I-I can't go home, sir!" I stuttered.

"I say you can! Come on, now!" _This person… is offering me shelter?_

"Sir?"

"Don't call me that!" _Sir?_ "Even a human cannot live in this treatment! You will be held captive at my base, until you give me the information I need to go home!" _Captive? Wait…_

"You can't go home?" I asked.

"No." Silence. _Just like me… nowhere to go…_

"Sir?"

"Zim!" _Oh! Right!_

"Oh! Sorry… Zim?" My cheeks warmed.

"What?"

"Thank you." I was blushing like mad by now. "You aren't like other people. You're different… somehow." I wiggled in an attempt to keep my newspaper close.

"As are you." His voice came.

"I suppose I am, si-Zim." I replied, probably smiling. _I know I am…_

"That'll do for now." He said. "GIR, go get the Voot."

"I gotcha masta! Whee!" a high-pitched voice squealed as the dog shadow ran off. _Wait… on two legs?_

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"GIR," _Dat's me! _"Go get the Voot." My masta said. Then, I was all like 'Okee Dokee!'

"I gotcha masta! Whee!" _Running! Run-run-run-running! _"Fwaaaaahahahehehehehe!" _Fwoooom!_

**Yay! First chappie! Please Review! I'll try to update soon… Until then, e-mail me at for illustrations and sneak previews from future stuff! Wow! This chapter is like, five whole printed pages! A new personal fanfic record! dances**


	2. Chapter 2

**Fwoo! Man, I'm writing way too much at once here! Anyway, here's another chapter.**

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"GIR," _Dat's me! _"Go get the Voot." My masta said. Then, I was all like 'Okee Dokee!'

"I gotcha masta! Whee!" _Running! Run-run-run-running! _"Fwaaaaahahahehehehehe!" _Fwoooom! _I went home, and stopped to get a taco, and then I did a bunch of other stuff and… yeah!

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_What am I doing again? _"Um…"

"S-im?"

_Oh! Right! The sickly irken child-thing… _"Eh?" She was still standing.

"Why did you give me these? They're funny." The girl waved her cuffed wrists in front of her. There, her wrists, was the only bit of color I noticed. They looked almost purple. As she showed me the "gifts" A bit of her pinched skin broke free from the restraints and a bit of red trickled from the small pink area. "Oh, no! I'm going to get them dirty!" she whined and quickly pressed her bleeding hand to her odd dress. "I'm sorry, S-z-s-im! I think I broke it! It feels l-like its l-leaking!"

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_I broke it! Its even mad at me! I can feel it stinging my hand! _I felt my nose tickle. I was crying again! "I'm sorry! I-I'm sorry! I'm s-sorry, s-sir!"

"You're leaking all over my _amazing _handy thingies!" The man screamed at me. "Stop it, worm-smeet-stinky!"

"I'm sorry!" I tried to clean up my mess the only way I knew how, by licking my hands clean.

"Now you spit on my things?!" I heard, before something struck the back of my head, and I fell asleep on the ground. _I probably deserved that! I was acting up!_

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"GIR!" I shouted. "Look what you've done now! You crashed into an irken!" _How could he not see her? Why did I teach him how to fly my Voot? _"And you made her leak even more!" _Ugh… now I'll have to lift her into the ship! _"Curse you, GIR!"

"You wanna taco? Good! 'Cause I already ate 'em!" I pushed GIR out of the front seat with a spider leg, before getting in myself.

"Now, how exactly do I do this?" _I've never actually carried anyone before, intentionally… Wait. _"GIR! Bring the female in here!" GIR complied, unfortunately.

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"EET'S NEKKID!" _Wheeeeeeeheheheheeeeeeeee!_

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Indeed, the moment GIR picked up the girl, her uniform flopped to the ground. _Hovering digestive waste of some unknown thingy!_

"GIR? What are those two welts on the child?!?!?!" Many other questions flooded my brilliant mind, but I was too petrified to vocalize.

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Masta' was frozen, so I gotted to drive! _I'ma comin' piggy! I's loves yooooo!_

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"Hey, Gaz? Have you seen Zim lately? It's been weeks since he was last at school, or at home…" I asked.

"What in your gigantic, empty head makes you think that I care… at all?" _I'm almost used to that comment now…_

"I'm going to go look around for him."

"Does that mean you'll leave?"

"Yes."

"What are you waiting for?" _Uh…_

"I don't know."

"Get out of here, Dib."

"Watch the house. You know what to do if anything happens. Record my show." _How does she always forget?_

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**I know it's a short chappie, but this is an excellent stopping point. Tacos for all reviewers, see you soon!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's more! I don't even see the need to put a disclaimer at this point, it's not mine, 'kay?**

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_Really, how can Gaz forget to record Mysterious Mysteries almost every single time I leave the house? Gaaaah… _I walked on the instinctive path towards Zim's House. I'd been going there more than usual since Zim stopped coming to skool. I was worried… I guess… Not for Zim… not for his well-being anyways. It's just so weird that he's been completely quiet for so long. I'm used to him missing skool, but for his world conquest thing, not for nothing.

"Huh?" I though I caught a glimpse of Zim around the corner. "Zim?" Nothing. _Pull yourself together, Dib!_

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"GIR, quickly, to the repair bay! Before we're noticed!" The small female squirmed and moaned a bit. "QUICKLY, GIR!" I kicked GIR from the controls and sped home. As the roof of my base opened, I saw the Dib-monkey approaching. The landing was autopilot, so I took the opportunity to test a human ritual I had learned.

"WATCHA' DOIN' MASTA?"

"What the fu-!?!?" With that comment from the Dib, the roof shut.

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"Well, that was rather disturbing… GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

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"Cold! Cold! Cold! Cold! Cold!" I fixed my uniform and rubbed my backside vigorously. "How can people do that?!?!"

The Voot opened and GIR and I hopped out. _Still… What to do with the girl? _I glared at the pinkish meat-monkey inside my ship. She was shaking slightly. "She looks like you!" GIR pointed out.

"What?"

"She all jiggly like you, 'Cold! Cold! Cold!'" He did an odd jig-sorta-thing.

"Cold?" GIR did his "cold dance" in circles around the female. "Oh! Oh, yes, cold! Uhhh…" _What do humans do when they're cold?_ "GIR, get the child to the couch! I must think!"

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I bursted through the door, gasping for air. "Gaz!"

"You're back already?"

"Gaz, you won't believe it!" I jumped in front of my sister, who seemed preoccupied by her GameSlave2. "I went to look for Zim, and when I got to his house, he tried to moon me, but he doesn't have an a-!"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP?!?! I'm trying to kill this Giant Vampire Zombie Werepig!" _But if Zim doesn't-how does he-what abou-whuh?_

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**Yes, I know its short… But I shall soon return! I have to work on my costume for the Invader Zim Theatre Tour! uberspasm Why must I procrastinate!?!?!?!?!? Please review and I'll try to get back to you!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay! Somehow this seems to be the most popular of my stories! I do own a little Sudafed… I think it's in the bathroom cupboard. Once again, I do not own Invader Zim. Jhonen Vasquez/Nickelodeon/Viacom does. Because of this particular story's abnormal recognition, it will be updated more attentively until the world gets sick of it and/or it is completed. Thanks go out to all readers and reviewers!**

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I woke up when a really bright light made my headache worse. _What's happening? Where am I? _I covered my eyes with my hands and rolled onto my side. _My head hurts…_

"Hi! Do you wanna dance with me? Dance! Dance! Dancy-dance! Dance! Cookies! Waffles! Taco Dance!" I heard a strange voice pound in my ears. I twitched when I felt two icy-cold "somethings" touch my back.

"Unnngh…"

"GIR!" another yell hit me. "I have researched the earth customs of dealing with cold."

"Moose?"

"No, GIR. No moose."

"Aww…" the closer voice whimpered.

"Nyah?" came a squeak.

"No, MiniMoose. We weren't talking about you."

"Nyah. Nya-ah?"

"This creature is none of your- Wait… MiniMoose, would you mind going to the store for me?"

"Nyaaaaah?"

"I need you to get a pack of human-processed chemical bulbs. Just look for the word 'Sooodahfed' on a little white box."

"Nya-na-nyah?"

"Yes. As soon as you can."

"Nyah!"

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_Ha! No human cold will stop this invader! Now, back to… whatever I was in the middle of… _"GIR, I'm going down below. Watch the female."

"Okie-Dokie!"

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"I get to watch yooooooooooooooou!" I pokied the monkey. It kept sheeverin, so I ran away.

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"Zim's up to something. He has to be. This is the first time he's left his base in ages. He must have been planning something and now it's ready! I must stop him!" I jumped up on my bed, only to have my foot snag on the sheets and trip me. "Gahhh!" I fell flat on my face.

"Did you fall on your big head again?" Gaz yelled from downstairs.

"My head's not big!" I yelled back, getting up slowly.

"Yes it is!"

"No!"

"Be quiet!"

"Whatever." I whispered. I sat up and felt the bit of carpet below me. It was permanently flattened due to my tendency to roll off of my bed. "I'm starting to think my bed's haunted or something…"

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"Now you really look like masta!" I flyed back to look at my arteesticness. "I'll be right back. I gotta show this to Pig!"

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**That's all for this update! I may not be able to update very soon, but I'll do what I can! Please review in the meantime! Once again, I know it's short… but it's a faster way to get new stuff on here, so, bear with me!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Sorry for the slow update. I'm severely grounded. Anyhow, I will try to get as many updates as I can, with school and all….**

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It had been a long spring break. Skool had finally started up again and, naturally, old rivalries were brought back fresh into the minds of the students. I had stayed home and watched Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mystery re-runs while updating my information on the little green alien that had, a while back, come to Earth. Zim, the aforementioned foreigner, had claimed to be going on a family vacation over the break, which probably meant he was up to something big to conquer the planet. He was not at his home base and I had no way of getting to Zim's space station guaranteed in one piece. So, I was determined to find out everything my enemy was up to, now that I was back in class. After the typically unusual day of fighting, the day was over and I took this as the perfect opportunity to get some answers. "Hey, Zim?" I called curtly.

"What?" Zim lazily droned, prepared for some lame insult or threat.

"Nothing." Taken aback, Zim stared at me.

"What?" he asked slightly bewildered.

"Nothing." A smirk creeped onto my face. I loved confusing the alien.

"Tell Zim!" Zim said sternly.

"Why?" I half-whined.

"Because I am Zim!"

"So?" It was easy to tell that Zim was getting extremely annoyed with my game. I loved it.

"You called for me, earth-monkey!"

"Yeah. So?"

"That means that you must tell Zim something!" Zim snarled, glaring at me.

"What?" I asked innocently.

"Whatever it is you were going to say!"

"What was I going to say?"

"Why should I know what goes on in that gigantic head of yours?" Even Zim was getting sick of this running joke, but it did bother me quite a bit.

"My heads not big!"

"Liar!" Zim snickered.

"Whatever." I rolled my eyes, feeling Zim get more and more agitated.

"Tell Zim what you were going to say!"

"What if I don't want to?"

"Then you wouldn't have called me!"

"Why not?"

"Because that is why you call someone!"

"Why you call someone what?"

"You're lying!" Zim snapped. This was his trademark response to any argument that he couldn't counter.

"I love you too." I sang.

"What?" Zim raised an eyebrow.

"My sincerest apologies, Space-Boy. I had the impression that I was lying." If looks could kill, I would have just melted.

"You lie! You lie!" Zim screamed.

"And you don't?" I asked.

"I have no need to lie." Zim stated matter-of-factly.

"Right. When was the last time you told the truth?" I scoffed.

"Just now."

"You're lying now."

"No I'm not!"

"C'mon! Lie for me!" I whined.

"I hate you! I hate Earth! I love the fact that I will be the one to doom it! I don't need help from any human to understand that! I hate you! I never lie, and I love the fact! I'm better than you! I love being alone on this dirtball! I fear nothing! I am forever loyal to myself! I love the fact that I will naturally live five times longer than the oldest human after you've died! I hate the fact that you get what's going on here! It's a shame you're not as stupid as the rest of you humans! I hate you and I love it! How is your head so big, yet your brain is so very tiny? I hate you and I wish I could be rid of you! Why can you understand that? You pathetic little worm-stink! I hate you! Fine, don't say whatever you were going to. It's not like I care what you think. You are the liar!"

"Geez, Zim. What was that all about?" I was extremely taken aback by this speech from Zim. There were no threats or insults in it, and it almost made sense.

"Lies!" Zim hissed. "All lies!"

"Woah." I stopped in my tracks. Zim had run off and something had kept me from giving chase. "What the-?" I thought out loud. "He looked like he was gonna cry or something. Usually he would throw something at me. I wonder what his problem is."

"Shut up, Dib." My sister, Gaz, had suddenly appeared beside me. "Let's get home already."

When I had gotten home and into my room, I plugged my Stalkorder into my computer so I could re-watch the earlier conversation I had had with Zim. I always had the Stalkorder with me, recording everything that I saw or heard so that I could use it for future reference.

_"Hey, Zim?" _the playback started.

_"What?" Zim sounds much less energetic than usual, like he's just the emanate punch line of a really dumb joke._

_"Nothing." Man, I really hate the sound of my recorded voice. _"No way do I really sound that annoying."

_"What?" This is a lot more of a programmed response than a question._

_"Nothing."_

_"Tell Zim!" I'm catching a bit of hesitation in Zim's voice, probably just a bad recording._

_"Why?"_

_"Because I am Zim." He isn't declaring this the way he usually does. He sounds almost annoyed that he is Zim. _

_"So?"_

_"You called for me, earth-monkey!" Zim says, not quite loud enough to be considered yelling, which is rather unusual for him._

_"Yeah. So?"_

_"That means that you must tell Zim something?" This sounds a lot more like a question than it did before, like Zim isn't very confident in anything he's doing._

_"What?"_

_"Whatever it is you were going to say!" Zim's voice seems to crack slightly. He doesn't sound annoyed. He sounds downright upset._

_"What was I going to say?"_

_"Why should I know what goes on in that gigantic head of yours?" _I paused the playback and erased this bit.

_"-Ig!"_

_"Liar!" Yeah. Zim sounds really upset. He isn't shrieking like normal. He's almost mumbling._

_"Whatever."_

_"Tell Zim what you were going to say!" This is an empty request. He doesn't seem to care; he just wants to keep me talking._

_"What if I don't want to?"_

_"Then you wouldn't have called me!"_

_"Why not?"_

_"Because that is why you call someone."_

_"Why you call someone what?"_

_"You're lying!" This is one of Zim's catch-phrases, but it sounds more like a horrible threat._

_"I love you too." _I erased that bit too. "I don't even remember saying that."

_"What?"_

_"My sincerest apologies, Space-Boy. I had the impression that I was lying." _I couldn't help it. I had to snicker at myself this time.

_"You lie! You lie!" Again, Zim isn't sounding angry. He's almost sounding like he's frustrated with something more than my talking._

_"And you don't?"_

_"I have no need to lie." Zim almost growls._

_"Right. When was the last time you told the truth?"_

_"Just now."_

_"You're lying now."_

_"No I'm not!" Zim's voice is wavering again._

_"C'mon! Lie for me!" There's a slight pause here. Zim looks like he's made of wood, until he shivers and begins screaming._

_"I hate you! I hate Earth! I love the fact that I will be the one to doom it! I don't need help from any human to understand that! I hate you! I never lie, and I love the fact! I'm better than you! I love being alone on this dirtball! I fear nothing! I am forever loyal to myself! I love the fact that I will naturally live five times longer than the oldest human after you've died! I hate the fact that you get what's going on here! It's a shame you're not as stupid as the rest of you humans! I hate you and I love it! How is your head so big, yet your brain is so very tiny? I hate you and I wish I could be rid of you! Why can you understand that? You pathetic little worm-stink! I hate you! Fine, don't say whatever you were going to. It's not like I care what you think. You are the liar!" There it is. He chokes. Zim is so pissed at something that he can't even keep his voice steady._

_"Geez, Zim. What was that all about?" _I closed my eyes in thought.

_"Lies! All lies!" _I stopped the playback.

"I don't get it." I said to myself. "Zim's acting really weird. It's not like him to just run off from a ranting opportunity like that. Even when he's really busy with a plan or something he stops to brag about it." I rewound the scene until I could get a clear look at Zim while he was shouting. Something looked so off. Sighing, I flopped onto my bed and stared at the ceiling. "What are you up to, Zim?" I slept lightly that afternoon until the next morning, when I was awakened by Gaz's angry yelling.

"Dib! We're out of Poop-Tarts! Go buy some so I can eat!"

"Hmm?" I rolled over, falling off of my bed with a thud.

"Poop!"

"Poop?"

"Poop!" Gaz shrieked, before listing loudly all of the things she planned to do to me if I did not deliver.

"Alright! I'm going!" I yelled back promptly. "Sheesh!" I walked across the hall into the bathroom and, knowing that there was no way Gaz would let me take a shower, washed my face and neck in the tap water, gently wiping my glasses clean from the night and setting them on the counter. "I really need to get contacts or something..." I mumbled to myself, staring at my blurred reflection in the mirror. I dried off and went back to my room to change.

"Now, Dib!" Gaz reminded me of the task at hand, rather violently.

"Okay! Okay! I'll run to the store and get your Poop-Tarts! Hold on a second!" I yelped, pulling my old trench coat off along with my t-shirt.

"I said, 'Now!'"

"Going!" I said, grabbing a random shirt from my closet in a rush and jumping down the stairs and out the front door. Trying desperately to put my shirt on while running, I tripped and fell onto the sidewalk just in front of the doorstep. "Oww..." Pushing myself up, I winced at the sharp pain in my face, arms, knees and chest.

"Go!"

"'Kay!" I stood, noticing how sore and numb my feet were. "Note to self: Take shoes off before sleeping." I ran clumsily down the street towards town, still trying to slip into my shirt. When I got far enough away from the house, I stopped for a breath. Oddly enough, GIR happened to stroll past in his "little brother" disguise, paying me no mind. "What?"

GIR froze, turned around slowly and blinked a few times, before loudly declaring, "Hi! You naked!" and running off. I shrugged and pulled my shirt over my head, continuing to walk. I finally walked through the store's automatic doors, still smoothing my shirt down. Having been to this store many times, I easily found the Poop-Tarts and was ready to get out of there. "You got any of them Suck-Munkys, Mister?"

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_MiniMoose going to the store. What was I thinking? GIR'd better not do anything stupid while I'm here. _"You got any of them Suck-Munkys, Mister?"

"GIR?"

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

**Oooooh! The suspense! The confusion! The laziness! The utter length due to needless repetition! The Poop-Tarts! I know this is a sort of jump from the style of the other chapters. It started as part of a different story, but subconsciously melted into PA. Anyway, I love reviewers! They make me write better and faster! (Hint, hint! Nudge, nudge!)**


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